Sunday, August 31, 2008

How to spot a Legal Profession Series on TV

1. The divorce lawyer is having an affair with his/her client.
2. The junior lawyer is horribly humiliated in their first case which was clearly over their head to begin with (although I hear this is a truism of the profession).
3. Criminal lawyers will largely have innocent clients.
4. There will be at least one bizarre precedent setting case per episode.
5. Trials always start terribly for the lawyer until the Private Investigator unveils some crucial evidence.
6. The evidence is always released five minutes before the shows end.
7. Clients always hide vital information from the lawyer which the lawyer will find out on their own.
8. There is never any discussion of fees or retainers.
9. Guilty clients will cause an ethical dilemma that will split the firm opinion-wise for at the episode.
10. All lawyers are eloquent.
11. There is always a legal assistant studying at night to be a lawyer.
12. Every will is controversial.
13. Cases are decided immediately after crucial evidence is provided. The origin of this evidence is never really discussed.
14. Everybody drawing up a will is a wealthy eccentric.
15. The Judge will call the lawyers into chambers at least once an episode.
16. Justice is not blind to money. The truth always wins.
17. Legal assistants are either young and pretty or extreme battle axes. There are no 'regular person' type legal assistants.
18. A judge is found to be corrupt at least once every three episodes.
19. A lawyer will resort to court room theatrics at least once every two episodes.
20. A lawyer will find the exact legal precedent they are looking for to win the case with minimal research.
21. Court Cases never drag on…Yeah right!!

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