Communism - An Equality of zeroes.
Capitalism - An Inequality of zeroes.
Democracy - Government by the elected mediocrity.
Fear - The nothing that terrifies us.
Film critic - A nobody's nobody.
Life - A state of confusion between birth and death.
Luck - Proof that randomness does not exist.
Project Manager - Person hired to create a false sense of organization.
Sleep - The last amateur sport.
Time - That ingredient that makes all things impossible.
War - The less hypocritical version of peace.
Mother - The woman who is always giving birth to you.
United Nations - Incompetence in numbers.
Politics - The sand box for those who don't play well with others.
Diamond - A man's worst friend.
Money - An entity with a pocket holding time measured in nanoseconds.
Food - The unifying property that makes us the nectar of the gods.
Sex drive - That aspect of our personality that fails to separate us from the animals.
Work - The price we feel we must pay.
Guilt - The ditch on the road to contentment.
Civilization - The end product of many centuries of disorganization.
Thought - The unfamiliar which we so fear.
Consultant - A Rolling stone gathering other people's moss.
Business Policy - An early proof of the march to chaos.
Committee decision - The broth spoilt by too many cooks.
Maverick - One who has chosen to think
Accountant - The matador sent out to destroy the creative bull.
Corporate lawyer - Individual who complicates the already complex.
Sales - To perjure for profit.
Executive - Those in charge of milking the cow.
New World Order - Same as the Old War order. Just different people in charge.
Bonus - The light that makes many hands work.
Gambling - Art of parting money from a fool.
Affirmative Action - Unnatural selection
1 comment:
So this is the 'infamous' list of puns that accumulate most of our class time - Joly amusing. One more you may want to add, which you stated during class, "Knowledge is power, but power is work over time" - chuckle ... har har. Oxford dictionary should seriously consider this. Some other ones may include:
Atheism: a non-prophet organization. - George Carlin
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Paradox (par'-u-doks'): Two physicians.
Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed.
Adventure: somewhere between entertainment and panic.
Algorithm - 1: Bill Clinton's Vice President attempting to sing doo-wop.
2: a trendy dance for hip programmers or mathematicians.
Answer: what everybody is still looking for.
Astronomy: TV for the ancient Greeks.
Skeptic: one who won't take know for an answer.
science: preconception meeting verification.
Quark: the sound made by a well-bred duck.
Programmer: a red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.
Physics: reverse-engineering the universe.
Physicist: an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
New journalism: [Media] print the truth - don't offend anyone.
life: that brief interlude between nothingness and eternity.
A lot more could be added to this ... Good for a laugh or two.
~ Shahriar A.
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