Thoughts on what is greater

I am not an orthodox jew but I do believe in a transcendent entity that for convenience I call G-d. Essentially I am a rationalist theist. There have been times that I have gravitated toward both atheism and deism. I rejected the former as it fails to adequately explain the reality of why there is something as opposed to nothing. The latter while addressing the origin question leaves us with the harshness of a world without intrinsic purpose. Yet I struggle with some big qu...estions that were further highlighted by last week's brutal synagogue attacks. How could G-d let this happen in a house of worship geared to him? If he is indifferent then surely he is not worthy of our worship. If he lacks the power to stop it then he is clearly not the Almighty. These are questions that have been asked over and over again yet with each horror they naturally re-surface. The best that we can posit as theists is that we don't have a complete understanding of the bigger picture. There are greater forces at play but we a humans, being limited by our rational and sensory constraints, can only comprehend a sliver of the vast mosaic. This is not entirely satisfying explanation but to abandon it would leave me floating in the existential abyss of the relativism of the mind. I cannot stomach that. A world where a position of evil is only in 'opinion' worse than that of good is a world of nothing that passes into the night with no worth. For me that would be hell. So I continue to believe. My faith is shaken at times, but the alternative is much more frightening.